I watched them. I liked the intro, with the nominees talking in front of a white screen. Nothing seemed like a big deal, except Pan's Labyrinth not winning Best Foreign Language picture. Granted, I haven't seen any of the others, but I am still absolutely convinced they couldn't possibly have been better than Pan's Labyrinth.
I'm also pretty sure that none of the Best Picture nominees was better than Children of Men, even though the only one I've actually seen was Little Miss Sunshine. Which I liked, but don't really think is Best Picture material. It would be like if Tootsie had won for 1982. Which I mis-remembered it doing, but of course, it was up against Ghandi, so how could it possibly have won? In some horrible alternate universe, Tootsie and Little Miss Sunshine both won Best Picture. Last night, The Departed won. It probably deserved it. Even though I haven't seen it.
Although, really, the backlash against Little Miss Sunshine since it got nominated has been kind of... out of proportion? Yeah, it probably wasn't the most deserving movie. And it didn't win. But, you know, The English Patient did win. And that was a travesty almost as bad as Out of Africa winning when The Color Purple didn't.
Also, I thought I remembered Ellen hosting the Oscars before, but she hasn't. Last night was the first time. And she was funny, but pretty safe. Nothing memorable. Except possibly the first outfit she wore -- burgandy velvet? I had a jacket just like that in 1982. But she had the pants that match! Okay, and, having Steven Spielberg take her picture with Clint Eastwood "so she can put it on MySpace" is pretty amusing.
Helen Mirren was definitely the first lady of the evening. She won, her acceptance speech was elegant, she had the best dress, every time they showed her in the audience it made me happy. And somehow Jack Black, Will Ferrell, and that guy from Chicago singing a little show tune about how they wanted to take her and an Oscar home someday seemed fun rather than creepy.
The Jack Black song was better than any of the nominated songs. At least, it didn't bore me. I don't know, I like Melissa Etheridge sometimes, but her song managed to be better than the others only because the others were so not good. I mean, it's supposed to be an award for "best" song, not "least intolerable" song. And then Celine Dion sang something, which was the moment I decided I'd had enough and it was time for a nap.
The outfits were fairly dull. Nothing great, nothing outrageous. Gwyneth Paltrow and Nicole Kidman had exactly the same hair, which seemed kind of funny. Do they have the same hairdresser? Or was one of them caught without their wig, and borrowed the one from the other? (Because all Hollywood stars actually have their heads shaved all the time, and they wear wigs. It's true.) And Reese Witherspoon had almost the same hair, except on two sides instead of one. Somebody dictated that the look of the evening was "nipple-length, tawny-blonde, in front of the shoulders, and ironed! Ironed until it is straight! Straight I tell you!"
Reese Witherspoon's dress was neat overall, but the neckline was sort of dull. Maybe a red carpet dress rather than a podium dress? I don't know. Cameron Diaz had kind of an interesting outfit on. I was never sure if I liked it, but it was different from the others, so... good. When she has dark hair, I think Cameron Diaz looks kind of like Maggie Gyllenhaal. Or at least she did last night.
Kate Winslet looked surprisingly good in minty green. Usually I don't think pale blondes look great in pale colors, but sometimes just the right shade pulls it off.
Al Gore seemed very likable. It's weird. He used to be famous for being "stiff." Maybe Global Warming (alarmist? cheerleader? advocate?) is a better career for him. His movie won. No surprise. I haven't seen it, though. I don't watch nearly as many earnest human rights documentaries as I feel I should, and this makes me feel bad about myself, although I'm probably not going to do anything about it, so why bother?
Forrest Whittaker won best actor. Yay. I haven't seen The Last King of Scotland, but I think he deserves one cumulatively. This is the Oscar he didn't win for Ghost Dog, The Crying Game, and Bird. Also, his speech won for most heartfelt and odd. Did he really just say he intended to take his Oscar "Into the next life"? I think he did. Cool.
Usually I have seen at least one of the best animated picture nominees, last night I had not. I noticed that the Best Animated Short winner was the one with the most old-school animation style, no computer-looking 3D stuff. And West Bank Story, the Best Live Action Short looks fabulous and I must see it.
After watching the Oscars, I always think I need to see more movies in the coming year. Will I? Probably not.
