I'm just wondering something here. Pat Robertson says that "If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms ... there well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."
So, if there isn't a tsunami up here, can we say, finally, definitively, that whatever that little voice in Pat Robertson's head is, it isn't GOD?
Early human ancestors and chimpanzee ancestors may have mated and produced offspring, according to a new DNA study. Um. I really don't have anything additional to say about that.
So, according to the Federal Government, I am perpetually pre-pregnant until hitting menopause. Because the guidelines don't say "all women who are PLANNING to get pregnant." No, of course not. They say, "all women who are CAPABLE of getting pregnant." Because, apparently, they are issuing guidelines for the Republic of Gilead they're planning, where whether I WANT to have a baby or not isn't part of the equation. And why are these guidelines are being issued now? Because:
Progress toward further reducing the rate of unhealthy pregnancy results, including premature birth, low birthweight and infant mortality, has slowed in the United States since 1996 "in part because of inconsistent delivery and implementation of interventions before pregnancy to detect, treat and help women modify behaviors, health conditions and risk factors that contribute to adverse maternal and infant outcomes," according to the report.
The U.S. infant mortality rate is higher than those of most other industrialized nations -- it's three times that of Japan and 2.5 times those of Norway, Finland and Iceland, according to a report released last week by Save the Children, an advocacy group.
Hear that, ladies? Because the United States has the most expensive, yet suckiest, health care system in the developed world, you should take folic acid supplements.
What is a golden buckyball for? Nobody knows. YET.
New England is flooding. Indonesian volcanoes are erupting. Cool is dead. Truly, can the apocalypse be far behind?
Perhaps not surprisingly for the twentysomething crowd, George W. Bush and Adolf Hitler ranked at the bottom of the coolness scale.
Apparently, in the interest of providing a variety of community voices, the PI has chosen to give a forum to nutty 9/11 conspiracy theorists.
No, I don't know why.
So there's no XXX domain coming. You'll just have to keep finding porn the way God intended. Accidentally.
Or maybe I should say, "accidentally."
Last week, proponents of keeping the [estate] tax, held a press conference in Washington, D.C., to reveal a "multimillion-dollar lobbying effort" to repeal the tax. This effort, they said, is led by 18 "superwealthy families" with a total net worth of $185 billion.
Also showing up (not by accident) was a parody group, Billionaires for Bush, that frequently attacks the "Dynasty Tax." "We pay good money to get rid of laws we don't like," said a woman who took the name Iva Fortune.
So... what's up with all the alligator attacks? Are they mad about something?
And apparently Stephen Colbert is right about the bear menace.
Stupid people can now spend money smell like Britney Spears.
And I don't care. I mean it.
It seems like I'm seeing a lot more stories about joined twins being separated these days. Are there more being born? Is the technology to separate them more advanced? Or is it simply a function of a global news network?
This story about Brits using scissors and screwdrivers as toothpicks is just weird. Don't they have toothpicks there? And what about floss? Also, do scissors even work? Are British teeth simply farther apart than my American orthodontic-ed teeth?
I hate to say it, but maybe there's something to all those sitcom jokes about British dental hygiene.
This story is true, kids. Listen to your parents. When you tour the chocolate factory, keep your hands to yourself or they could get cut off.
Noooo! Not the Trojan
cooling tower! I love the Trojan cooling tower!
I was even down in Longview a couple of weekends ago for a wedding (Hi, Eric
and Tina) and didn't stop to take pictures. I didn't realize it was my last
chance. They're blowing it up on Sunday, May 21.
One view of the Captains of Industry: They're predators. You're prey.. Although if I had written this article, I probably would have talked about vampires. But maybe that's just me.
And now, a message from the alternate universe where Al Gore is president.
I was going to express annoyance about the new revelations about DNS surveillance, you know, putting all your phone calls into a big database and figuring out if you call your mother often enough, but D. Parvaz of the PI has already done it.
Except, once again, I am baffled that most paranoid anti-government types seem so un-nonplussed when they find out about this sort of thing. As long as it's a Republican government, it's all right. Republicans don't want to take away your rights. Sure, they'll spy on you, hold you in secret prisons, torture you, suppress your use of the first amendment. But they don't want to take away your RIGHTS.
On the other hand, once again, putting a picture of yourself in the act of breaking the law up on Myspace is a good way to get arrested. It seems fairly intuitive, yet, two graffiti-lovin' brothers in Washougal didn't think of that...
And speaking of Myspace, they think they are the boss of you, or at least your content.
By displaying or publishing ("posting") any Content, messages, text, files, images, photos, video, sounds, profiles, works of authorship, or any other materials (collectively, "Content") on or through the Services, you hereby grant to MySpace.com, a non-exclusive, fully-paid and royalty-free, worldwide license (with the right to sublicense through unlimited levels of sublicensees) to use, copy, modify, adapt, translate, publicly perform, publicly display, store, reproduce, transmit, and distribute such Content on and through the Services.
And now, the $100 laptop. For kids!
At the risk of starting blasphemous rumors, I think a third Bush president would be final proof that there is no God. Or, perhaps that there is, and he really hates us. Or hates America, at least.
