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Month: December 2008

Christmas in Suburbia

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It’s almost Christmas and I’m sitting in the exercise room. It used to be my brother Michael’s room. Then I think it was the sewing room, but now the room that used to be my room is the sewing room, unless John’s old room is now the sewing room. At some point, everything was the sewing room.

I’m menaced by an assortment of enormous machines: a folding treadmill; a Bowflex, which resembles a medieval torture device; a "Power Ramp" which is sort of like an overgrown stairstepper; and the "Pilates Performer" which looks like a bench that slides on giant rubber bands. There’s also a big inflatable green ball in the corner. In front of me is a book on how to use this ball. And there is also a video about how to use this ball.

Continue reading Christmas in Suburbia

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No tears for bigots

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Just in case you haven’t seen this yet, here is a link to a
lame attempt to make us feel sympathy for somebody who donated to California’s
Proposition 8
.

The editorial is extremely manipulative — right from the headline."A
life thrown into turmoil by $100 donation for Prop. 8" — it’s worded like
we’re supposed to think, "oh, a hundred dollars, that’s so insignificant
a thing to throw a poor life into turmoil." Except, a hundred dollars is
more money than I gave the Obama campaign, so, actually, in my universe, a hundred
dollars is a pretty significant commitment to a cause.

Also, anybody who voted for Prop. 8 is officially on my naughty list.

And anybody who actually donated money, even a dollar for a button, is on my even
naughtier list. Now, I don’t think naughty people should should get cancer or
anything, but I do think they should suffer the natural and inevitable consequences
of their naughty actions. So, yeah, I’ve just read the headline, and I already
disagree.

Continue reading No tears for bigots

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Anne Rice, Dracula, vegetables, Dracula, brains, Nosferatu, Dracula, Paradise Lost…

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Anne Rice, Dracula, vegetables, Dracula, brains, Nosferatu, Dracula, Paradise
Lost, Nosferatu, martinis, X-Files, martinis, Twilight

Many years ago —

(Before Anne Rice had written so much post-Interview dreck, and I
still thought she was a good writer, instead of some kind of literary idiot
savant — and I imagine, in some alternate reality where she wrote only one
book and that book was Interview with the Vampire, that she would have
a better literary reputation than the one she has garnered from writing Interview
plus a lot of rubbish — although she probably has more money in this reality
so I guess that works out.)

— I was talking about vampire fiction with an acquaintance, let’s call him Comic-Writing
Dude.

Me: I assume you’ve read Anne Rice.

CWD: I thought the books were good but I have just one problem. The vampires in
her books aren’t really vampires.

Me: Okay… um, they’re undead humans who feed on human blood, in what way are
they not vampires?

CWD: Vampires aren’t all angsty* and mopey* like that. They’re just predators
that like to play with their food.

Continue reading Anne Rice, Dracula, vegetables, Dracula, brains, Nosferatu, Dracula, Paradise Lost…

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Twilight:better than syphilis

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Saw Twilight over the weekend. It was better than syphilis.

I’m also pretty sure it was better than a couple of the movies in the previews,
Bride Wars and Confessions of a Shopaholic, both of which
made me sort of want to shoot someone in the face.

Twilight is frequently dull and pretty stupid, which is an unfortunate
combination — two strikes and its almost out. It didn’t make me deeply, deeply
angry, which was a plus. It has lovely scenery and an appealing cast. And some
of the funny jokes are even intentional.
But, as a vampire movie, I just didn’t like it. As a teen romance…
well, I wouldn’t have bothered to watch it, so I’m going to talk about it as
a vampire movie.

Continue reading Twilight:better than syphilis

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