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Month: October 2009

5. Fanwanking for Jesus

Between the ages of 10 and 12, I was mentally committed to the church, to being a Christian, but there were still things that troubled me. I was worried about how you could know it was all true. How could I know God really existed? How could I know Jesus was more than just a character in a story I liked? The obvious answer — you can’t — never seemed like a possibility in church culture. The assumption was that we were all there because we just knew. There’s a hymn we would sing, "Blessed Assurance." It was all about…

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4. It is written

When I was in kindergarten, the teacher had us write stories. It was the first time I had ever done such a thing. It was a revelation. A mind-blowing, life-changing moment. Until then, it had never occurred to me that stories had to be written down before they could be read. Once that occurred to me, I was convinced that was what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a person who wrote down the stories. I wanted to be a writer. Before that, where did I think stories came from? I really have no idea. I probably thought…

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3. The big one

Kids (and kids in church) like to tell stories with weird superstitions and urban legends and dark rumors and wacky conspiracy theories. I remember being highly skeptical of this stuff. It seemed to me that kids were kind of gullible. I didn’t want to be gullible. So if some kid tried to tell me a "true" story that I had already encountered in a book of urban legends or ghost stories, I would call him on it. So I learned this, at a young age: being gullible is easier and more likely to result in social popularity. Calling people on…

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2. Going to hell

When I was a kid, church seemed pretty much like school. Adults made me go. People told me stories and showed me pictures. Sometimes they asked questions about the stories they told me, and if they asked questions it was important to tell them the right answer. Church was different from school, I knew this, but I couldn’t have explained why. I might have even given what sounded like the right answer, "church is where you learn about God and Jesus and stuff," but it’s not because I understood what I was saying, it’s because I knew that was the…

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1. Skipping church

One of the things I never do anymore is skip church. That used to be one of my favorite things to do when I was a kid. I couldn’t do it on my own — it had to be because my parents had decided we were going to skip church. We would skip church as a whole family. It was one of those things that really brought us together. Sometimes we would skip church because we were doing something special, like camping or Disneyland. Sometimes we would skip church for reasons that were never really explained at the time. In…

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They’ll never put it back now

Last night I had another of those recurring anxiety dreams where I go to the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland and they’ve completely remodeled it. Every time I have this dream it’s a different remodel, but the common theme is, the remodel sucks, and I feel lost, cheated, abandoned. Last night the remodel had something to do with lawyers and the Alaska gold rush. I was trying to start a “put it back!” campaign, but as I put my letter in the box, I had the thought that they spent far too much money on the stupid remodel and they’d never…

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Dollhouse Season 2 Episode 3: Belle Chose

I went through a lot of pain to watch this episode. After watching the season premier at MikeK’s, and successfully Hulu-streaming episode 2 with no issues, I tried to Hulu-stream this one and it was all herky-jerky. (Is that how you spell that? Is there a right way to spell these things?) But the opening scene, with an obvious psycho arranging paralyzed women into creepy real-life mannequins, was just too intriguing. I had to see the whole thing. So I paid actual money and downloaded it from iTunes. Which took ELEVEN HOURS. I am not kidding. It was “high def”…

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The obnoxious jerks standing on the corner near Planned Parenthood …

The obnoxious jerks standing on the corner near Planned Parenthood with their stupid anti-abortion signs. They were out there again, yesterday, when I went to pick up the pills that keep me from needing an abortion (let’s hear it for modern medicine). A man with a pro-adoption sign that wasn’t too bad, because, okay, sure, adoption is fine. Nothing wrong with adoption. And then a woman with some cheesy fetus drawing inside a big heart. I don’t know what it said, exactly, probably "abortion stops a beating heart" or somesuch. It was funny, without knowing those jerks were there, I…

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Dollhouse

During the annual Whedonverse panel at Vcon, (the lovely and charming) Tanya Huff and I had a bit of a debate over the premise of Dollhouse. She was squicked by the rape implications of the premise. I allowed that the premise is, indeed, squicky, but actually much closer to prostitution. (At this point, Paul desperately wanted us to stop using the word "squick.") The dolls, or "actives" volunteer for their term of service (or do they?), and for each encounter, any sex that might happen is perceived by the active as voluntary. It’s manufactured consent (literally), but consent all the…

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Mole, before I forget

It’s pronounced "molay," not like the animal. I made this dish for cjot‘s birthday a couple of weeks ago and meant to post it, but then I got really busy helping paulcarp with Vcon and didn’t do it. Mole is Spanish for "sauce" but in US Mexican restaurants it usually refers to a sauce like Mole Poblano, which is a chile and chocolate sauce. Mole involves a million ingredients and a really long cooking time, so it might be tempting to buy the canned or jarred mole that you can get in the Mexican food section of your local grocery.…

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