I saw “Burn After Reading” and enjoyed it.

I also saw a preview for a dreadful-looking farce by David “Scary Movie” Zucker called “An American Carol” which seems to have been constructed exclusively for purposes of allowing things like the real Bill O’Reilly to pop a Michael Moore impersonator in the nose. In an outhouse.

Oh, the hilarity!

Anyway, as a liberal sitting in the audience, I found myself personally offended by the trailer. Yeah, yeah, I get it, all liberals hate America, that’s the only reason anybody could possibly disagree with you.

Everyone who votes for Democrats or liberals does so only because of our deep loathing for America. Every time we vote for a Democrat, it is because we are secretly hoping that he or she will give our country, or at least the Statue of Liberty, back to France.

Only the right wing is even capable of truly loving this country and its traditions. Oh, they hate the government, they hate the protection of individual rights guaranteed in the Constitution, they hate our “melting pot” history of immigration and multiculturalism, they hate our history of strikes, protests, marches, and other cantankerous manifestations of the First Amendment, they hate most of our art, they hate that people like Thomas Jefferson and Normon Rockwell were actually liberals, and they hate Democrats, liberals, homosexuals, women, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, people from the middle-east, Sikhs who wear turbans so they think they’re from the middle-east when they’re actually from India, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, atheists, Quakers, union members, people who live in California, people who live in New York City, and, generally, all the people who live in this country. But only they truly love the country itself.

Only the Republican-voting half of the country truly understands or respects the flag, which is why ripping a hole in it and wearing it as a (insert expletive) PONCHO, or putting a flag patch on the butt of your jeans, or having a flag-themed doormat is somehow extremely patriotic if you’re a Republican, yet hanging it upside-down in protest is extremely unpatriotic if you’re not.

Didn’t you get tired of making these complete non-points in 2003? And when are you people going to get over Michael Moore, anyway? Is he like the only liberal you know how to make fun of? Do you think he’s the only liberal there is, or something?

Do you present yourselves as simpleminded insensitive jerks on purpose, so that when people say you’re jerks, you can point your fingers and scream “unfair!”?

The right wing does not (insert expletive) OWN America, jerks.


  1. It’s typical propaganda really. It works with budget cuts and the “support the country” crap Bush nad Co have been stirring for years.

    And I thought Michael Moore had fallen out of vogue. Even if he does describe the right as similar to the way the right describes the liberals above.

  2. even to question republican truthiness

    is unamerican.

    Love america or leave it!

    yeah.. republicans do have a super strong reality distortion field.. thats fox news, rush limpbaugh and glenn beck.

    These assmasters are doing the same thing, THE SAME THING they accused Bill Clinton of. They are redefining the meaning of the word is. By redefining the meaning of words, using repetition and basically going “LALALALALALA” when someone says something they don’t believe in they ignore reality.

    The very same #$@@#$ who decry welfare queens are first in line for handouts to the rich.

    What absolutely bugs me the most is that once elected they choose people like its fucking high school and only pick people that support them regardless of who’s most qualified to do the job.

    1. Re: even to question republican truthiness

      Reading this reminds me of a rant I just read, where Hilary Clinton was taking all sorts of sexist mud-slinging from the right, but when Palin gets on the ticket, republicans decry the democrats for being sexist pigs.

      It’s a very underhand tactic that republicans use: Decry your opponent of having the same faults you do. A case of pot calling the kettle black at the best of times.

      On the other hand, Fox can do some good at times. I remember one Simpsons episode that did a satire of the iraqi war with aliens invading and how it wasn’t working shortly before the Democrats got back into the house. So maybe it’s not so bad.

      1. fox=pravda

        from: http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/07/25/mcclellan-white-house-gave-fox-commentators-talking-points/

        Matthews: “Did you see FOX television as a tool when you were in the White House? As a useful avenue to get your message out?”

        McClellan: “I make a distinction between the journalists and the commentators. Certainly there were commentators and other, pundits at FOX News, that were useful to the White House.” […] That was something we at the White House, yes, were doing, getting them talking points and making sure they knew where we were coming from.

        Matthews: “So you were using these commentators as your spokespeople.”

        McClellan: “Well, certainly.”

        1. Re: fox=pravda

          Thats bad. We don’t have it nearly as bad in Ireland, with politicians receiving honest coverage and potshots from the Irish media whether or not they are in power. It actually ruined a tribunal investigating whether or not an ex-poitician was corrupt (which it turned out he was)

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