Weird rumors

Today I just became aware of perhaps the strangest of the strange Obama rumors traveling through the email-o-sphere: that Obama had been employing Voodoo against McCain, which causes him to writhe around and grimace uncontrollably.

I just want to set the record straight here. Yes, there is voodoo being employed against McCain. But it’s not Obama doing it, or any of his Kenyan relatives, or any of the other likely suspects mentioned in the email.

It’s me. I’m doing it.

Please direct your paranoid relatives and co-workers my way if they want an explanation. Thank you.


  1. Are you for hire? Because damn, you do good work!

    1. Author

      I don’t take money…

      It’s a labor of love. (That said, what did you have in mind?)

      I should warn you right now, I don’t do curses. I didn’t curse McCain, honest. I merely asked the spirits an powers for the ultimate desired outcome, I didn’t micromanage how it was to be achieved.

      I think they did the weird faces and wandering around like he lost his keys thing because they think it’s funny. The spirits and powers have a kind of juvenile sense of humor, sometimes.

  2. Whenever I hear McCain or Palin talk I writhe and grimace uncontrollably, must be witch doctors themselves.

  3. You, too? Damn, it strikes me that there are probably more home-grown made-in-USA folks employing voodoo against McCain than the extant population of Kenya.

    Ok, I’m lying. I’m not actually employing voodoo, simply my own spiritual will in the usual eclectic fashion. And all I’m asking is that any veils or glamour of whatever type be stripped away, so that people see the truth of what they are being offered. I think that should be enough, and happily apply to any candidate on the slate. /idealist We now return you to the usual cynical misanthrope Joy.

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