Internal dialog on a Saturday morning
Hey, it’s Saturday of Clarion West Week 2 and you know what that means!
Fourth of July weekend?
No, you have to submit that story you wrote.
Oh. Right. I… I promised to do that, didn’t I?
Yes, and you have to.
But —
But what?
Nothing. Of course I’m going to do that. But first I —
First nothing! Just submit it.
First I have to make and drink coffee. Otherwise I’m likely to misspell my own name.
…all right. Coffee can always come first.
And wait for my vision to clear, I’m kind of bleary-eyed first thing in the morning. Especially during peak allergy season.
Fine, I said you could have coffee first.
I also have to do laundry.
Not before submitting!
Breakfast?
Breakfast and coffee, but NOT LAUNDRY. Sheesh. What the hell is wrong with you? You hate laundry.
I know, but — I’m not sure the story is ready yet. I think it needs one more editing pass.
One more pass.
Yeah. I’m not sure the voice in the first part completely matches the voice in the second part.
One more pass.
Uh-huh.
ONE MORE PASS. And you’ve got an hour. No longer! It’s only four thousand words long.
Okay. After coffee I’ll do it.
Do what?
The editing.
And what are you doing after the editing?
…submitting.
Right, and where are you submitting it to?
Paul said F&FS, but I don’t know, that might be —
Is the story fantasy or science fiction?
Well, it kind of might be fantasy or it might be science fiction, it depends on how you —
ARGH! Then why would you not send it to a magazine called fantasy and science fiction?
…I…don’t know.
What is the absolute worst thing that can happen?
They won’t publish it and I’ll have to send it somewhere else.
Okay. What’s your problem?
Oh, I think the coffee is done.
I’m serious. What. Is. Your. Problem?
I’m afraid of feeling bad when they don’t buy it.
So you won’t give them the chance to buy it or not. Okay. You know what that’s like?
What?
Not getting a kitten just because you’re afraid of how bad you’ll feel when it eventually dies.
Uh…
I’m serious, it’s a good analogy. Would you think that was a sensible reason for not getting a kitten? Or a pet of any kind? Would you think that was a good reason to, for example, never get to know your grandparents? Do you think it’s good to live your life afraid to love anything just because you’ll feel really bad when you lose it?
No. Not really.
So get with it. Coffee. Final pass. Submit. End of story.
…okay.
I don’t like that look. You’re not really going to do it, are you?
…no, I am.
You’d better. I’m watching you.
Write-a-thon You can sponsor me or any of the other delightful writers at ClarionWest.net.
Go Julie!
And don’t get distracted by buying a kitten instead of submitting your story.
What’s that? I should buy a kitten?
Let us know when you’ve submitted it. It’s worth an extra $13 to Clarion West from me when you have.
Woot! Okay, I will definitely give a holler.
Oh, and I should mention: the first time I tried printing the story out, the printer ran out of ink about three pages in. So I had to go get a new ink cartridge.
Hey, that’s a good way to do it. I reckon‘s got this one covered, but Julie, I’m in for an extra $13 for the next one. Remind me, though, because I have gone off coffee for a few weeks and I am become spacey.
The story is submitted!
*confetti*
DID YOU SEND THE STORY YET
DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE
I’M NOT REALLY SURE WHERE THERE IS
BUT I BET MIKI KNOWS
DON’T MAKE KEFFY COME OVER AND KICK YOUR BUTT
WHY ARE YOU SO QUICK TO ASSUME I AM A VIOLENT PERSON
IS IT JUST THE ALLCAPS
ALLCAPS AND NO PLAY MAKE KEFFY SOMETHING SOMETHING
OKAY OKAY OKAY
NO BUTT KICKING NEEDED
THE STORY IS IN THE MAILBOX. AND IT’S ONE OF THOSE KIND OF MAILBOXES THAT YOU CAN’T BREAK INTO AND TAKE THE STORY BACK OUT WITHOUT GETTING ARRESTED BY THE POST OFFICE POLICE.
THIS IS A GREAT VICTORY OF ALLCAPS
*TAKES CREDIT JUST LIKE A STORE THAT HAS ONE OF THOSE SLIDEY MACHINE THINGS*
hahahah!
(Also, I like your new icon pic.)
Thanks, it was taken by my co-worker on the balcony where I work!